This is where things get a bit more complicated because there are different categories to BDSM. BDSM can be broken into three subcategories: Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, and Sadism/Masochism. Sure, tying your lover up, making them your sex slave, spanking them, or putting a dog chain around their neck and making them crawl around on all fours are just a few examples of various BDSM themed acts. It doesn’t have to be whips and chains all the time, or ever if you aren’t into it. For most people, when they start indulging in BDSM, they can start with something as simple as sensory deprivation, however, it can be a bit overwhelming. For those curious about exploring power play through specific acts like pegging, browsing real-world content such as pegging onlyfans can offer insight into how different people experience these dynamics in a consensual and empowering way.
BDSM is one of those terms that gets thrown about, usually with some blushing and giggles after a few drinks. But what is BDSM? I have wrecked my internet search history so you don’t have to and have found some very interesting information about this secret side of the bedroom.
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50 Shades of Grey got it all wrong
Remember when 50 Shades was the book to read? Women’s book clubs were scrambling to read and review it, copies flew off the shelf in bookshops. But, my absolute favourite thing, was the number of men who complained about their wives getting into some kinky stuff after reading it and they were expected to perform sexually in kinky ways, using skills they never possessed in the first place. Despite the loathing for 50 Shades, there is now a lot of interest in this side of sex. There are even dating sites like subdomamerica.com to help people meet others with similar interests. Many couples are now looking for ways to spice up their sex life with the introduction of various toys. For example, items like a cock sling are now more popular than ever before when it comes to sex. The issue is that BDSM is constantly being misrepresented in films and books. In fact, the community was represented so badly in 50 Shades, you should never bring it up if you ever go to a BDSM meet-up.
The big issue about 50 Shades is the lack of consent. A lot of people, including members of the BDSM community were horrified by the content of the book, which was labelled as glorified rape. I’m going to hold my hands up here and admit that I didn’t read the books for a variety of reasons. First up, I got a sample on Kindle and read the first bit, and was completely underwhelmed. The writing was lazy, the sex scenes were disgusting, and when people started speaking out about how it was “wrong”, I decided I would have nothing else to do with it.
It’s all about consent
Shockingly, BDSM is not about walking in the door after work and punching your spouse in order to get your jollies on. That’s abuse and you should look at getting out of there. BDSM is a term used to describe certain aspects of sex that can be split into these major groups: bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism. The important thing about taking part in this type of sub dom sex play is that consent has been given before anyone has taken part. SSC (Safe, Sane and Consensual) or RACK (Risk-aware Consensual Kink) are two terms that are very important. Overall, it is about trust.
